The Quickest Way To Jail

It was a clear Friday morning, with the clouds chivalrously concealing the sun, helping bring down the boiling temperature for as long as possible. With an extra spring in my steps, I settled down in front of my laptop. For those of you who are unacquainted with this ritual, let me explain. Since starting Laptop Diary as a blog, my laptop and I have had several interactions. Who says machines don’t have a heart?

Me: A splendid morning to you, Tosh!

Toshiba: (absentmindedly) I’ve told you, I don’t like that nickname. Toshiba is my surname. My actual name is Satellite L755.

Me: Fine, fine Tosh, don’t get worked up over that. Say, what are you busy reading anyway?

[Toshiba minimizes the Google Chrome page before I can glance at it...]
Me: (mischievously) Ah…what were you looking at?

Toshiba: (curtly) Let’s not go there, alright? I still have last week’s web history saved…

Me: (hastily) Right, anyways, back to work now. I’ve made a new resolution, Tosh!

A Big Lesson From A Little Girl

By now everyone in the household was familiar with my vacation routine. Establishing base at the computer table, systematically emptying soft drink cans, conducting marathon viewing sessions of Big Bang Theory. It was standard protocol.

On a perfectly relaxed, lazy Saturday morning, while the kitchen was bustling with breakfast preparations, I was perched next to the computer, staring at uTorrent like a compulsive horse race gambler, willing my precious downloads to perform better. Just then a call rang out.

Paging Musthafa, please report to the bedroom.

I sighed, knowing perfectly well what the situation was. My two year old niece Zara had burst into tears, apparently traumatized at being denied permission to venture out into the hot sun. And since all hands were on deck in the kitchen, it was up to me to pacify the little girl.

Twenty Minutes to Sun Rise

The first time I saw Athirapally water falls, the sequence unfolded in surreal fashion. Walking down the wooden pathway that rises steady and then comes to steep downward slope, the trees surrounding the pathway suddenly parted, bringing into view the entire panoramic shot of the waterfall leaping off the cliffs. As though nature had invited me to walk through the tunnel and into its version of a hallowed football stadium. The sound of water rushing over rocks rumbled across the air, non chalantly assuming the duty of providing a sound track for my moment of epiphany.

Searching For The 'Unicorn'

I lost belief a long time ago. Most around me have. None of us ever discuss about it. It's like the myth of the 'Unicorn'. Dazzling, beautiful...but it doesnt happen in real life.

They've documented it in movies, books, music videos. There are entire T.V. shows that capture the feel of the myth. But at the end of the day, you'll never see a 'Unicorn' in your life. It doesnt exist.

Whenever I watch a movie dealing with friendship, I chuckle, knowingly allowing myself to get immersed in the narrative. Like the mature guy who lets his compulsively lying friend narrate yet another tall tale of adventure. But at the end of it, like everyone else, I clear my head and walk away. The 'Unicorn' doesnt exist.

I Wonder What Dravid Feels

Wonder what Rahul Dravid feels about it.

The countless newspaper columns, internet links, Facebook statuses, and perhaps most importantly, the flattering headlines.

The Wall Stands Tall.

I guess he'd be smiling. Chuckling to himself, and remembering, very clearly, how it was not so long ago. Odds are, he'll turn off the bedside lamp, say a small prayer, and forget about the praise.

Because if anyone in our country knows a thing or two about praise, it's Rahul Dravid.

The same guy who was mocked by school children all over the country over his sometimes mind numbing defensive stance in matches. I can still recall how it felt, hearing people roll their eyes when the name Rahul Dravid was mentioned. How can things change so soon?

That's the quality of our collective memory. Say hello to the 1.2 crore version of Ghajini.

Mallus, Marus and More

Five Years Ago...
"Vivek was telling me that Thursday might be a holiday for all of us," John said.

"Whose Vivek?" I asked, as we sat at the end of class.

"Arey, Vivek, dude. The short, spectacled guy, in Philip's class?"

"Oh, that Vivek."

Present Day...
"Rohit says there's no college tomorrow. We'll watch a movie?"

"Rohit? Who's that?"

"Rohit, macha. The maru who sits behind us in class."

"Oh, that Rohit."

Funnily enough, until I joined a college in India last year, I never knew what a maru meant. Of course, now I do. Not just marus. I know who mallus, iyers, firengis and the rest are.

"No Pets, No Blacks....No Beards"

When I began blogging in 2008, never did I ever imagine my posts would graduate from poems and short stories - and the occasional attempts at sounding funny - and become, what you'd call....'politically sensitive'.

Therefore, though I do feel a tinge of anxiousness about the post I'm writing, it's inspired from a few incidents that occured in the past few months.