The Devil, The Angel...And Me - Part 2

Before reading this, read the first part and comment please!

[I was lying on a reclining sofa, feeling exhausted already. The Devil was sitting on my left shoulder, a glass on whiskey in his hand. He sipped it slowly, savoring the taste, and leaned forward to look at the Angel.]

Devil: [teasingly to the Angel] Still drinking Strawberry Milk, are we? 


Me: [warningly] Luke!

Devil: Alright, alright. I'll get to the point. Dude, you know the facts. Since the past one month, you've been getting less than 20 views per day. What's more, you're last five posts got an average of 6 comments each. [Pauses expectantly]

Me: So?

Devil: [surprised] So? So? Have you lost it or what? You used to get 15 comments per post. Now you're getting about 6. Why are you even in this blogging business.

[The Devil and I look at the Angel expectantly. The Angel hums a tune absent mindedly.]

Me: [loudly clearing my throat] Ahem!

Angel: [realizing it was his turn] Oh, right. Right. Err...where were we. Yah. About the comments thingy. The point is, he didn't start a blog just for receiving comments. He started it to express his creativity and share his enthusiasm about writing with his other similar minded readers.

[The Devil stares at the Angel blankly for a moment, looking stunned. Then he bursts out laughing.]

Devil: [Imitating the Angel] Express his creativity and share his enthusi -- My foot. Dude, tell me you don't want more comments. Go on, swear on God or whoever you swear on. And tell me you don't bother about the number of comments you get for your posts.

Me: [looking uncomfortable] Breakfast anyone? I'm famished!

Devil: [testily] We're part of your imagination, you thick headed jackass. We don't eat. So for the love of G- I mean, Satan, will you just admit it already?

Me: Alright! Yes, I care about the number of comments I get. If I had my way, no one would be able to close my blog without depositing their comments for every post they read. I want my Gmail Inbox to overflow with comments!

Angel: [looking horrified] My God! Musthafa! How could you...

Devil: [dismissively] Oh shut up Goody two-shoes. Now, here's what I plan. You need to write more raunchy stuff. I'm talking real adult material that'll have everyone reading your blog. Forget about morals. This is the 21st Century, keep up with the times. Then, write posts about fashion, movies, irritating people in your life--

Me: I don't know anything about Fashion.

Devil: No one knows anything about Fashion. We just say what sounds right. Then, be controversial. Say something SO outrageous that the readers will be forced to comment.

[The Angel sat on my right shoulder, his arms folded, looking the other way, sulking quietly.]

Devil: Then, go on and read a lot of blogs. Ha, who am I kidding. Just comment something on those blogs. Flatter them. And ask them to read your blog. Build an audience.

Me: But that's -- that's lying!

Devil: Really, Smartypants. Did Mr. Milk-drinking-anti swearing-white guy over there teach you not to lie?

Me: [keeping silent]

Devil: Good. So I'll continue. Three key words. Change your content. No more boring short stories. No more morality filled, philosophical posts. Write posts about people around you. Make fun of them. Talk about your daily life. Alright?

Angel: [Getting up to leave] Since you've got it all planned out, I guess I'll leave.

Devil: [happily] Ciao'. Take care.

Angel: [taking a deep breath and sighing] Just one thing though. Musthafa, do you remember why you started blogging? It was because you had something you wanted to share. A funny thought. A short story. You liked expressing yourself. No, wait, you loved expressing yourself. Then the comments started coming in. They were encouraging. Some were even flattering. That's when you got high headed --

Devil: [interrupting] We'd like to call it ambitious --

Angel: [angrily] Silence, you evil, misguided soul!

[Continuing] Musthafa, think about this. What's most important for you? A mass audience, overflowing comments, popularity?

Devil: [looking dumbfounded] Like duh!

Angel: [ignoring the Devil] Or did you want something else? Remember the girl who emailed you, saying that she couldn't stop laughing after reading Julius Caesar 1.5? Or that other guy who had a tear in his eyes after reading A Handful of Olives? Remember how you felt when you heard their reaction?

Ask yourself. What do you really want? Quantity or quality; Popularity or loyalty; overflowing comments or sincere appreciation? Most important of all, think about why you started Laptop Diary in the first place.

[With that, the Angel disappeared. I bowed my head for a moment, making up my decision. Finally, I looked at the Devil again.]

Me: I'm sorry Luke, but I agree with Gabby.

Devil: [looking heartbroken] No, no, no! This isn't fair. I was the one who influenced you. How could you-- [The Devil bursts into tears. For all his outward appearance, Luke is just an intern level devil. It's his first time trying to tempt a Human. I couldn't help but feel sympathy.]

Me: Luke, Luke, cmon, don't get upset --

Devil: [sobbing angrily] The name is Lucifer! Lucifer![He imitates a scary voice] You call me as though I'm your Pizza Delivery guy! He's evil by the way. Picks out and eats some of the olive toppings.

Me: [sounding confused and puzzled] I'm sorry? How can I make it up to you?

Devil: [stops crying and looks up eagerly] You promise you'll post the link to your blog on your Facebook profile?

Me: [protesting] Cmon, you know that makes me look like a Wannabe blogger.

[The Devil is about to start crying again.]

Me: [Relenting] All right, all right. I'll post the links on my Status Updates. Fine?

Devil: [Hopefully] And about the adult content--?

Me: [shouting] No! Now get out!

Devil: Alright, alright, sheesh, you don't have to shout, you know. I'm going. Got to tempt a kid to steal some candy. Argh, I hate these low level jobs...

[The END]

As if it's not obvious enough, all the thoughts of the Devil were my own, fleeting thoughts. The Angel represents all that I hold good in blogging. Hope to hear your final conclusions, since I do have a habit of spoiling the sequels to posts!



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The Devil, The Angel...And Me

It was a lazy Summer morning. After waking up at 10, I dragged myself into the bathroom, where I lazily began brushing my teeth.

Just as I was half way through, the devil popped up, standing on my left shoulder. He was smart as usual, in his black suit, red shirt, black tie, red face, and two small black horns.

Me: What is it this time, Luke?

Devil: Oh, nothing. Just, you know, came for a chat. That's all. [He looks around for a moment, hesitating about something.] By the way, have you been visiting your blog lately?

Me: [coldly] Yes, I have.

Devil: [sarcastically]Ah, so you do check your blog once in a while. Wonderful, wonderful [whistles for a while.] And by the way, who was that moron who wrote the last few posts?

[I stop brushing suddenly, and look into the mirror. The devil is smirking at me rudely. His bloody cheekiness...]

Me: What the hell was that supposed to mean?

Devil: Oh seriously dude, when are you going to learn? You're blog's half dead? No one cares about stupid stories is which a police officer jumps from the -- hey, which retarded police officer commits suicide because of drunk driving? 

Me: [angrily] He was feeling guilty about causing the death of the guy's family!

Devil: [thinking for a moment] Hmm....you mean like he was feeling bad?

Me: [testily] Yes Luke, he was feeling bad!

Devil: [shrugging his shoulders carelessly] What a loser! I'd personally be proud if I could drive home while I was drunk...

Me: [shouting]Oy! 

Devil: Alright, alright, I'll get to the point. Dude, it was a really mushy mushy story. Well done. Excellent. But how many people commented? No one ever cared!

Me: [feeling proud] 12 people commented about it.

Devil: [slyly] And how many people actually read it?

Me: [feeling embarrassed, and looking down] I don't know...about 60...

Devil: [triumphantly] Ha! You see my point? So here's what we do to boost your comment count, and have people flooding all over the blog.

Me: You mean what I'll do

Devil: I'm you're conscience. You and I are the same person, you moron.

Me: Oh.

Devil: Moving on, I have a few ideas. First, stop writing boring short stories. Personally, the namings all screwed up. It should be long-yada-yada-yada stories. But that's not what we're talking about. Right now, you have to start writing about....how can I say...more interesting things.

Me: Interesting?

Devil: [looking annoyed] Oh God -- I mean, Oh Shucks! Okay, let me try to make it more clear. Right now you write boring posts about hope, friendship...yada yada yada. No one's seriously going to read all that. If you really want to be in the big league - and by that I mean triple digit comment counts - you have to write about...you know....a little more adult stuff, like...I don't know...maybe--

Angel: [popping out of nowhere on my right shoulder] Stop!

Me: [relieved] Thank God! Where on earth were you?

Angel: [apologetically] Sorry buddy. Had to stop by a bank and ask the robber whether he really wanted to make the mistake. Turns out he did....Anyway, what was this miscreant telling you?


[I look at the mirror, and see the Devil, his arms folded, looking anoyed, staring at the Angel. It would be a long morning, I thought...]


[To Be Continued...]
Dear Readers,
This is a new type of post that I thought I'd give a try. The Devil here represents, obviously, the evil side of my mind, while the Angel...well, you get the point. Whatever contrasting thoughts I have as a blogger, are represented through these two characters. Please let me what you think. I'm hoping for constructive criticism....
 


If you are a new reader to this blog, check the Top Rated Posts, as well as the Best Posts of 2008.

Subscribe to Laptop Diary by Email

If you haven't visited here for quite some time, take a look at the latest posts...