Read This...Or Else You're Cursed!

Let me ask you a question:

How many times have you received an email which asks you to do something, or else face the consequences? How many times have you been told to forward a mail to these many people, or else have bad luck for countless number of years? How many times have you been cursed to…die?

And still, you’re reading this blog, aren’t you?

I don’t get it. Which pea brained retard actually thought that people would die if they didn’t forward emails or do as they were told? Maybe all this was actually started by a witch or a voodoo magician. Well, if that’s the case, it looks like his powers aren’t working anymore.

Look at the statistics. Most of you have been online for around four years now. You receive such kind of mails atleast once a month. That means you’ve been cursed to have bad luck or death or leprosy (or whatever it is that they’ve cursed you for), atleast 48 times.

Don’t you think it should have worked atleast once by now?

Now here’s what really irritates me. I don’t mind the jobless, completely insane people who actually click “Compose Mail”, and then go through the entire creative process just to bring out this kind of emails. What I do mind, are those even more jobless people, who read such mails, then click the “Forward Mail” button, and then send it to all their contacts.

I’m assuming you’re one of them. Cmon, if you can do such a silly thing, you can definitely comment on my blog more often, cant you? Or should I curse you to have a lifetime of bad luck?

Let me give you an alternative. You know how you get those sick mails in which they say, “Hey, You are my friend. Send this mail to all your friends. If I am one of them, send this mail to me. If you get 10 mails, you’re popular. If you get 7 to 9 mails, you’re….”.

Instead of ignoring these kind of mails, do something different. The next time you see your friend online, or in school, or anywhere else, go up to him or her, and tell them how good they are. Don’t flatter them. Just let them know how you feel about them.

If you’re a guy whose afraid what other guys might think of you, just say what John Abraham said to Abhishek Bachan before he hugged him: “Dude, don’t take this the wrong way, but I love you!”.

Let your friends know how special they are to you. If you don’t do that, I’m sorry, but I really don’t think you’ll have bad luck in your life. But you know what? If you do this….you’re life’s going to be a lot better than it already is. That, I’m sure of…

A Night of Make-up, Ketchup, and Friendship!

For the sake of my readers, let me tell you that this post, is going to be unbelievably long...

Yesterday, 4th December, 2008, was one the most memorable days of my life. It was the day when my friends and I staged the play, "Julius Caesar", for our school's annual day.

Everything started in the typical excited fashion. We began wearing our costumes, some looking awkward, others looking better than normal. It was good to see Senators wear loose fitting robes along with a satin clothe draped around their bodies. The Guards looked like guards. The fishermen almost looked like real fishermen, thanks entirely due to their fishing nets.

That's when things went upside down a little. Our slighty overzeleous Makeup man, decided to - literaly - give us a new look. Funny looking guys were turned into brooding, fake beard donning men. Those who were supposed to look arrogant (for example Caesar himself)....ended up looking like a cute, entirely harmless, grown up doll.

Still, with layers of make up stuck to our faces, and lipstick on our lips (oh yes, even Caesar liked to dress up as a girl, it seems..), we were ready to put up our final show.

One thing remained....the blood that was needed in the assasination scene. That, would be courtesy of Heinz Tomato Ketchup, it turned out. The ingenious idea, was to put an unsealed packet of Tomato Ketchup, beneath my robe, so that the first evil Senator who stabs me (with a fake plastic knife, mind you), would splatter ketchup over my robe. Ta ta`, we would get a blood soaked Caesar!

It was a risky deal, though. What if the ketchup packet fell off my robe, and landed on the stage floor? Meaning when they stab me, I would step on the ketchup. It would be quite distrubing if Caesar's feet started bleeding when they stabbed his chest.

Yet, everything went well. The ketchup oozed out slowly, so that by the time they were done with me, there was ketchup all over my chest. That was fine. The problem started when I lay on the floor, pretending to be dead. Do you know how repulsive it is to smell ketchup, literally under your nose?

I think I developed a dislike for ketchup after that. There was ketchup all over the robe. Some wiseguy wanted to get some french fries...

But the best part of the play, was what happened after it was over. We all headed to the green room, and with half removed beards, messsed up makeup, and a little bit of ketchup remaining, rejoiced at the success of the play.

That's what struck me the most. It took around two months of regular practices and extra time at school, just to put up this play of ours. Yet, during that time, a lot of things changed. People who barely knew each others names, became friends. Guys who had a mutual dislike towards each other, began laughing together. We became closer, better friends.

And that's what lasts. The make up is washed off within a few hours. The stink of ketchup dies down within a few days. But the friendships we've made. They're just going to get better...

I would like to thank everyone who made this experience memorable. Thanks for the memories, guys!

Revisiting Taare Zameen Par

I recently had the good fortune to once again see "Taare Zameen Par", the masterpiece of filmmaking by Aamir Khan. And though the movie still awes me the way it did almost one year ago, this time around, I realised some of the most important messages which the movie gives us.

As Aamir Khan stands in Ishant Avasthi's living room, looking out through the window, his words reflect a bitter reality:

"Everyone wants to grow toppers and rankers in their homes. Everyone wants the No.1 position. Doctors, Engineers, Management; anything less than that is unacceptable. 95.5%, 95.6, 95.7. Everyone's busy counting the marks. Isnt it? Please, think about it. Every child has his own qualities, own expertise, own desire. But no, everyone is busy stretching the finger to make it long. Keep on doing that; no matter even if you break the fingers..."

We all know that this is how many parents - advertently or inadvertently - behave with their kids. But now, it looks like a new trend is emerging. Are we ourselves thinking this way? Are we becoming race horses, stuck in a never ending race? Sure, the world is competitive. There's no denying that studies are important. But to what extent? Arent there things greater than a report card or an MBA certificate?

Things like love, friendship, compassion? Maybe these may seem old fashioned to some of you. But sooner or later, when the race is finally over, what will remain? Certainly not your ranks and merits. They can only get you so far...

Watch Taare Zameen Par again if you have to. It will open your eyes, the way it did for me. And think of what Aamir Khan says. "We're busy stretching each finger, to make them longer. And we wont stop, even if the fingers finally break."

I hope that doesnt happen to us....

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The "My-World-Generation"

I got a brillaint brain wave. In the following post, I'm going prove to you, how excatly, you are an egoistic, self centred, braggart. Excited! So am I...

So here goes...

Proof #1: MSN Display Names
Have you realised just how many people use MSN to complain, whine and show off about themselves? How many times have you read such Display Names like "Got 1st in (so and so competition)! Yippe!" or "Bought GMC Yukon!" or "92% in my Exams....yay!". My personal favourite is "Hurray! Finally got my own N95 mobile!".

Proof #2: Facebook Picture Albums
Am I the only one who finds it weird, or is uploading 50 pictures of a get together kind of stupid? Well, you could justify by saying that those pictures hold a lot of memories, and hence, must be shared. Fine. What about those 30 to 60 picture albums....of ONE person? And most of them taken when the self centered author is wearing the same clothes? That, according to me, is more than just cherishing memories.

Proof #3: Inboxes and Contacts
I've never actually wanted to be friends with a complete stranger from Tokyo. But some people really do think that's cool. What's more, they seem to think the amount of emails they receive (doesnt matter if 95% of them are forwards....and the other 5% are spam!), really shows how popular they are. And I'm sure you've come across people in Facebook and Orkut who tell you something like : "Hey, I'm your best friend's brother's classmate...ADD ME PLEASE!". To them, the number of contacts or "friends" they have...really does matter.

Proof #4: Blogs and Bloggers
For those of you who are thinking that I'm pointing the finger at others, here's the last proof. Some people create a blog (or half a dozen of them) and then go around asking others to comment. Even when there is nothing respectable to comment about. Here's where I'm guilty as charged.

But hey, whoever said we were perfect right? It'll be fun to know how many of you are like me, part of the "My-World-Generation". Where everything is about "I, Me or Mine". So do let me know through the comment box. Comments criticising this post, are welcome. Doesnt mean they'll be displayed, ofcourse!

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"What's Up With Your Hairstyle?"

One day, I was sitting in class, talking with my buddies, when one particular wiseguy stops talking, and looks at my hair (as though expecting a squirrel to pop out). After a moment's pause, he asks me.

"What's up with your hair?"

Now what am I supposed to reply to that?

"Oh, nothing. He's just pissed off with me today. He wanted me to use the conditioner instead of hair gel..."

Instead, I asked nervously. "Err...what's wrong with it?"

He looks at my hair, as though hesitant to break the bad news to me. "Well....you know...it's just...so weird!" And before I knew it, everyone else who was talking to me starts conducting a workshop on how to critically analyse my hairstyle.

Now, I do know that I possess an unbelievable horrible hairstyle. But cmon, some people just arent lucky enough. And it's not like I havent tried to correct it.

Till my 12th year of existence, I never had any problem with my hairstyle. That was because till then, I had the default hairstyle (the one I was born with). But for some reason, I decided to change my hairstyle, and from then onwards the problem began.

So what does a 21st century, television watching, self conscious boy like me do? I try to use all types of hair gels available to contain my hairstyle. And you wouldnt believe the amount of hair gels they produce nowadays.

What's the difference between Strong Hold and Mega Hold? How is Wet Look so different from Soft Look? And worst of all....why doesnt any of these gels work on my hair?

So unless they invent a new gel that has "Unbelievable Hold", or until I go completely bald, I'll still have to hear people say.

"What's up with your hairstyle?"

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Think of Ajay...

Perhaps it's because of the recent attacks on Mumbai, or perhaps it's because I havent been feeling especially humourous lately. What ever the reason, I've decided to ask you, and myself, a relatively tough question. What would you do, if you were in the position of Ajay?

Read this partly fictionalised story, inspired from a true event in Mumbai...

An 18 year old named Ajay, who was staying in the Taj Hotel in Mumbai, witnessed the hostage attempt. Knowing that he didnt have much time left, he hid himself in his hotel room, and called his parents. Taking all the time he could, he talked to every one of his family members. He wasnt sure he would live to see another day. And sadly, he didnt. After the phone conversation, his family members never heard from Ajay again.

Now here's my question, the answer to which, even I am not sure of. What would you do if you were in Ajay's position? Wouldnt you also want to talk to all your loved ones? Wouldnt you want to tell them just excatly what they mean to you? Sure you would. Well, what if you are going to be in Ajay's position? What if you wont get the small relief which Ajay got?

None of us can say when we'll bid farewell to this world. Maybe two months from now, maybe tomorrow. And if that happens, wouldnt you want to tell your loved ones how much they mean to you?

Stop reading this blog. You dont even have to comment, if you dont want to. But let your family, and your friends, know what they mean to you. Or else, it might be too late...

Think of Ajay....

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My Editor - In - Chief

There are some times in my life, when I think that I'm a complete idiot.

Okay. Fine, there are many times in my life when I've thought that. Still, once such time, was two days back. Here's why.

There is a friend of mine, and as is with all such "My-Friend" stories, I'll give him a fictious name, Victor. Now this guy, is perhaps my only online buddy (since I'm strongly against being friends with people you dont know in person.) And the reason I'm mentioning him is, he's my Editor-in-Chief.

Alright, not officially or anything. I dont pay him a dime. Yet, he's the guy who's heard all my stories before they became stories. He's the guy who criticised me, and hence saved me from hearing criticism from others. He's the guy who helped me become a better writer.

And what did I do in return? I forgot to keep in touch with him, or even read his blog once in a while.

But now I guess I should make amends. And also realise that many a times, I do behave wrongly with my buddies. But it's never too late to apologize, is it?