31 August 2009

The Devil, The Angel...And Me

It was a lazy Summer morning. After waking up at 10, I dragged myself into the bathroom, where I lazily began brushing my teeth.

Just as I was half way through, the devil popped up, standing on my left shoulder. He was smart as usual, in his black suit, red shirt, black tie, red face, and two small black horns.

Me: What is it this time, Luke?

Devil: Oh, nothing. Just, you know, came for a chat. That's all. [He looks around for a moment, hesitating about something.] By the way, have you been visiting your blog lately?

Me: [coldly] Yes, I have.

Devil: [sarcastically]Ah, so you do check your blog once in a while. Wonderful, wonderful [whistles for a while.] And by the way, who was that moron who wrote the last few posts?

[I stop brushing suddenly, and look into the mirror. The devil is smirking at me rudely. His bloody cheekiness...]

Me: What the hell was that supposed to mean?

Devil: Oh seriously dude, when are you going to learn? You're blog's half dead? No one cares about stupid stories is which a police officer jumps from the -- hey, which retarded police officer commits suicide because of drunk driving? 

Me: [angrily] He was feeling guilty about causing the death of the guy's family!

Devil: [thinking for a moment] Hmm....you mean like he was feeling bad?

Me: [testily] Yes Luke, he was feeling bad!

Devil: [shrugging his shoulders carelessly] What a loser! I'd personally be proud if I could drive home while I was drunk...

Me: [shouting]Oy! 

Devil: Alright, alright, I'll get to the point. Dude, it was a really mushy mushy story. Well done. Excellent. But how many people commented? No one ever cared!

Me: [feeling proud] 12 people commented about it.

Devil: [slyly] And how many people actually read it?

Me: [feeling embarrassed, and looking down] I don't know...about 60...

Devil: [triumphantly] Ha! You see my point? So here's what we do to boost your comment count, and have people flooding all over the blog.

Me: You mean what I'll do

Devil: I'm you're conscience. You and I are the same person, you moron.

Me: Oh.

Devil: Moving on, I have a few ideas. First, stop writing boring short stories. Personally, the namings all screwed up. It should be long-yada-yada-yada stories. But that's not what we're talking about. Right now, you have to start writing about....how can I say...more interesting things.

Me: Interesting?

Devil: [looking annoyed] Oh God -- I mean, Oh Shucks! Okay, let me try to make it more clear. Right now you write boring posts about hope, friendship...yada yada yada. No one's seriously going to read all that. If you really want to be in the big league - and by that I mean triple digit comment counts - you have to write about...you know....a little more adult stuff, like...I don't know...maybe--

Angel: [popping out of nowhere on my right shoulder] Stop!

Me: [relieved] Thank God! Where on earth were you?

Angel: [apologetically] Sorry buddy. Had to stop by a bank and ask the robber whether he really wanted to make the mistake. Turns out he did....Anyway, what was this miscreant telling you?

[I look at the mirror, and see the Devil, his arms folded, looking anoyed, staring at the Angel. It would be a long morning, I thought...]

[To Be Continued...]
Dear Readers,
This is a new type of post that I thought I'd give a try. The Devil here represents, obviously, the evil side of my mind, while the Angel...well, you get the point. Whatever contrasting thoughts I have as a blogger, are represented through these two characters. Please let me what you think. I'm hoping for constructive criticism....

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  1. i lyk the devil..he talks sense...bt dat dsnt mean u shus write adult crap...we all lyk wat u write...u just gotta promote ur blog in more places than just among ur friends...so dat every1 cums to kno abt it..n plz ccontinue this devil n angel fyt...seems intrsting!!!

  2. Seems interesting...

    But no not the devil..keep it for urself!i hope ur conscience dont take his side!!!!

  3. "Had to stop by the bank...."...Bwahaha!

    Nicee post man! A real change from the usual crap, as the devil would say :P

    I like these kinda posts! I think you should do more of these.

  4. hmm...a very diff attempt.i lykd it

  5. HAHAHA! What a wonderful idea! You should post more of these.

  6. The devil kinda seems like the one in the Onida ads! :P
    The angel's intro was too good!
    As I didn't go through your older posts, I didn't understand much of your argument, but I got a clear idea of it now!

    God going man!
    Would like to see the second part soon!

    Btw, I hvae posted a reply to ur comment in my blog do check!

  7. Love your blog...love your stories...keep up the good work :)

    Let me know if you need ur book cover designed or if u want some one to edit ur book :)

  8. ..itz a veryyy realistic conversation!..
    i think the 'ME' part was d best..;)

  9. praying the angel pops up more often...liike when ur picking fights with ur sisters...
    loved the idea...

  10. nice one i lyk this totally diff type of story...well conversation between u an ur evil conscience well wht the devils says had to happen some tyme dint it.... :-) :-P :-)

    this one gets a 9/10

  11. But no not the devil..keep it for your self!I hope you conscience don,t take his side!

  12. Whoa! Loved it!
    Both have valid points...I'll post a long comment after reading part 2.