Me: (Trying to make an excuse for opening my blog) Oh, I -I'm sorry, I - er - I must've clicked on an old bookmark or something. Hope I didnt disturb you or anything.
LD: No, no, dont worry. (bitterly)I wasnt doing anything much since I was last updated six months ago anyway...
Me: (awkwardly) Right, so - erm, I guess I'll - I'll just get going then?
LD: (abruptly) So have you found someone new?
Me: (surprised) New? You mean..?
LD: (bluntly) A blog. Are you writing somewhere else now?
Me: Oh, oh like that? (quickly) Oh, no, no. Not at all. I havent been writing at all for the past six months.
LD: Hmm, okay.
(Awkward silence continues. I wonder if I should put forward the topic...)
Me: Listen, LD, I wanted to apologize for what I did -
LD: (interrupting) Please dont call me that. My name is Laptop Diary.
Me: (surprised) Oh c'mon, I always called you LD, havent I?
LD: (coldly) Well, things change, Mohammed Musthafa. One minute you'll think you're the luckiest in the world, getting comments and views every other week, being updated regularly. The world is your oyster and Google's going to place you at the top of its search views. Blah blah blah. And then, you're forgotten. Dumped like an outdated version of Farmville!
Me: (consolingly) LD, dont talk like that. Look, I'm really sorry I just left like that. I never meant to. You know what it's like with semester exams and writers block and all that, right? But I always loved to blog. You know that!
LD: (screaming) You left me to rot with spam, you creep!
Me: Oh dear -
LD: (still screaming) You ditched me! And I was left with weird comments from sites like OnlineDating and MakeUpTools. You selfish little prick!
Me: (soothingly) Sshh, Calm down LD. Calm down. I know you're mad. But I'm going to make it alright. I promise. I'll never leave you like this again.
LD: (babbling in between tears) ...And don't you dare post your blog as a note on Facebook. Are you too ashamed of asking your friends to visit me or what? Stupid pricks with their 'likes' and instant commenting!
Me: (lying convincingly) No more notes in Facebook, I promise.
LD: (still sobbing) And I want to change my look. The blue background is killing me.
Me: (defensively) What's wrong with the layout! It's smart!
LD: (rolling eyes) Oh please! Some spam sites even avoided me because of the layout. So please, (demandingly) change it alright?
Me: Alright, alright, I'll change it as soon as I can. Now get some rest, it's late.
LD: (worried) Oh shit! What time is it? Crap, it's almost 11 P.M. I gotta go.
Me: Why? What's the matter?
LD: Some annoying Blogger site maintenance. It starts at 11. But Musthafa?
LD: Are you really going to stay this time?
Me: (smiling) I'm going to post something tomorrow itself. How's that?
LD: (after a pause) That's nice. But just one thing Musthafa...
Me: What's that?
LD: Try not to write about mad dogs or roti makers, alright? It's affecting my popularity, if you know what I mean.
Me: (annoyed) Yah, yah, fine!
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