[I was lying on a reclining sofa, feeling exhausted already. The Devil was sitting on my left shoulder, a glass on whiskey in his hand. He sipped it slowly, savoring the taste, and leaned forward to look at the Angel.]
Devil: [teasingly to the Angel] Still drinking Strawberry Milk, are we?
Me: [warningly] Luke!
Devil: Alright, alright. I'll get to the point. Dude, you know the facts. Since the past one month, you've been getting less than 20 views per day. What's more, you're last five posts got an average of 6 comments each. [Pauses expectantly]
Me: So?
Devil: [surprised] So? So? Have you lost it or what? You used to get 15 comments per post. Now you're getting about 6. Why are you even in this blogging business.
[The Devil and I look at the Angel expectantly. The Angel hums a tune absent mindedly.]
Me: [loudly clearing my throat] Ahem!
Angel: [realizing it was his turn] Oh, right. Right. Err...where were we. Yah. About the comments thingy. The point is, he didn't start a blog just for receiving comments. He started it to express his creativity and share his enthusiasm about writing with his other similar minded readers.
[The Devil stares at the Angel blankly for a moment, looking stunned. Then he bursts out laughing.]
Devil: [Imitating the Angel] Express his creativity and share his enthusi -- My foot. Dude, tell me you don't want more comments. Go on, swear on God or whoever you swear on. And tell me you don't bother about the number of comments you get for your posts.
Me: [looking uncomfortable] Breakfast anyone? I'm famished!
Devil: [testily] We're part of your imagination, you thick headed jackass. We don't eat. So for the love of G- I mean, Satan, will you just admit it already?
Me: Alright! Yes, I care about the number of comments I get. If I had my way, no one would be able to close my blog without depositing their comments for every post they read. I want my Gmail Inbox to overflow with comments!
Angel: [looking horrified] My God! Musthafa! How could you...
Devil: [dismissively] Oh shut up Goody two-shoes. Now, here's what I plan. You need to write more raunchy stuff. I'm talking real adult material that'll have everyone reading your blog. Forget about morals. This is the 21st Century, keep up with the times. Then, write posts about fashion, movies, irritating people in your life--
Me: I don't know anything about Fashion.
Devil: No one knows anything about Fashion. We just say what sounds right. Then, be controversial. Say something SO outrageous that the readers will be forced to comment.
[The Angel sat on my right shoulder, his arms folded, looking the other way, sulking quietly.]
Devil: Then, go on and read a lot of blogs. Ha, who am I kidding. Just comment something on those blogs. Flatter them. And ask them to read your blog. Build an audience.
Me: But that's -- that's lying!
Devil: Really, Smartypants. Did Mr. Milk-drinking-anti swearing-white guy over there teach you not to lie?
Me: [keeping silent]
Devil: Good. So I'll continue. Three key words. Change your content. No more boring short stories. No more morality filled, philosophical posts. Write posts about people around you. Make fun of them. Talk about your daily life. Alright?
Angel: [Getting up to leave] Since you've got it all planned out, I guess I'll leave.
Devil: [happily] Ciao'. Take care.
Angel: [taking a deep breath and sighing] Just one thing though. Musthafa, do you remember why you started blogging? It was because you had something you wanted to share. A funny thought. A short story. You liked expressing yourself. No, wait, you loved expressing yourself. Then the comments started coming in. They were encouraging. Some were even flattering. That's when you got high headed --
Devil: [interrupting] We'd like to call it ambitious --
Angel: [angrily] Silence, you evil, misguided soul!
[Continuing] Musthafa, think about this. What's most important for you? A mass audience, overflowing comments, popularity?
Devil: [looking dumbfounded] Like duh!
Angel: [ignoring the Devil] Or did you want something else? Remember the girl who emailed you, saying that she couldn't stop laughing after reading Julius Caesar 1.5? Or that other guy who had a tear in his eyes after reading A Handful of Olives? Remember how you felt when you heard their reaction?
Ask yourself. What do you really want? Quantity or quality; Popularity or loyalty; overflowing comments or sincere appreciation? Most important of all, think about why you started Laptop Diary in the first place.
[With that, the Angel disappeared. I bowed my head for a moment, making up my decision. Finally, I looked at the Devil again.]
Me: I'm sorry Luke, but I agree with Gabby.
Devil: [looking heartbroken] No, no, no! This isn't fair. I was the one who influenced you. How could you-- [The Devil bursts into tears. For all his outward appearance, Luke is just an intern level devil. It's his first time trying to tempt a Human. I couldn't help but feel sympathy.]
Me: Luke, Luke, cmon, don't get upset --
Devil: [sobbing angrily] The name is Lucifer! Lucifer![He imitates a scary voice] You call me as though I'm your Pizza Delivery guy! He's evil by the way. Picks out and eats some of the olive toppings.
Me: [sounding confused and puzzled] I'm sorry? How can I make it up to you?
Devil: [stops crying and looks up eagerly] You promise you'll post the link to your blog on your Facebook profile?
Me: [protesting] Cmon, you know that makes me look like a Wannabe blogger.
[The Devil is about to start crying again.]
Me: [Relenting] All right, all right. I'll post the links on my Status Updates. Fine?
Devil: [Hopefully] And about the adult content--?
Me: [shouting] No! Now get out!
Devil: Alright, alright, sheesh, you don't have to shout, you know. I'm going. Got to tempt a kid to steal some candy. Argh, I hate these low level jobs...
[The END]
As if it's not obvious enough, all the thoughts of the Devil were my own, fleeting thoughts. The Angel represents all that I hold good in blogging. Hope to hear your final conclusions, since I do have a habit of spoiling the sequels to posts!
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ed u i guess facebook thingy...syill u gt ur moral wit u
ReplyDeleteFacebook idea is not bad , if your friends are interested they would read would youve written and Im sure they'd like it..
ReplyDeleteThe olive story was remarkable..you have great writing skills, dont think of going haywire..be on track..you'll do well Im sure..if u write well people would read it..everything takes time and impatience destorys the quality..just hold on to the aim with which u started ur blog..rest would follow :) ALL THE BEST!
Haha love the way you posted the link to Julius Caesar 1.5 and Handful of Olives hoping that atleast someone new will read it. LOL
ReplyDeleteI dont think you're doing anything drastically wrong in your blog to change. It's fine this way.
And, I liked Part 1 more. :D
Not bad! By the way, were you really thinking about the adult content idea? Or was it just fiction? *coughs* You don't have to answer that if it's too embarrassing. :)
ReplyDeleteYou have an impressive way in your story telling..This piece is one of the best on laptop diary..
ReplyDeletebdw,trash in that devil thoughts..dont suit you and this nice blog!;)
:)...when in doubt, go with the devil...well, thats wht i say...
ReplyDeletething is its not easy to be different from wht u really r , especially when u r writing...i think to a large extent, what a blogger is what his /her blog is...its tends to show wht u really are to some extent...
but if u really believe that u got into blogging for expressing creativity, i wud call it a half lie...truth is , creativity needs audience..beauty needs admiration...an artist needs appreciation...theres no shame in it...thats what all of us here are for...even when we hide behind our own versions of reasons...
see? the devil was rite...flattery did bring u a comment :)
well those devilish thots have been building inside u for atleast quite some time... neways.. frm the "ADULT" ideas u cud strt a post called tech nook or sumthing lyk tht we had in YT... talking abt YT ur blog has now OFFICIALLY become the the new YT to m atleast.... or y don u start a vote in ur blog to see how ppl desperately w8 for a new update in ur blog for
ReplyDelete1. they like ur blog
2. they got nuttin better to do
:-P p.s i kinda liked devil,angel part 1 better 8/10 ...
Facebook idea really works, as a lot of traffic for my page comes up from there!
ReplyDeleteAnd moreover, Adult stuff does not always produce results, my blog contains a lot of 'adult' references, but that doesn't mean I get 50 comments right? And please do not change your style of writing, in that way we even lose the little bit of originality we have!
And speaking about comments, comments might be many, but the true assessing ones are very few. Comments like "Brilliant", "Cool" just increase the number but do not actually improve our style. If you are getting six sensible comments, I should say you are the luckiest guy on the earth!
A nice presentation!
Moreover, Eid Mubarak.
Cheers!
You have an impressive way in your story telling. I am very much impressed with it.
ReplyDeleteNice sequel.
ReplyDeleteAnd a very 'innocent' way of portraying your thoughts. As usual, there are two sides to this. Your style doesn't need to change. It defines who you are! But the fact that you should also write about normal things in life is true as well. So, keep the same style but increase the types of things you write about! Simple! Then again, don't forget the philosophical posts as well, they are pretty inspiring...
Enjoy!