14 June 2009

My Card House

A few years ago,
I wanted to make,
A lofty card house,
Which would never break.

I placed one card,
On the marble floor,
After a while,
I placed one more.

That was how,
I built the house,
It took patience and care,
And years of love

With every passing year,
The house became bigger.
Pillars rose high,
The walls grew thicker.

Until one day,
I stopped to see,
This card house of mine,
The best there could be.

At the base stood,
Cards of ones, twos and threes.
And at the top of the house,
Lay the kings and queens.

Like a plastic pyramid,
It was almost perfect,
Every card was perfect,
Except my favourite quartet.

The King of Diamonds,
And the King of Spades,
At the top of the house,
Both of them were placed.

Above them stood,
Just two more cards.
The Queen of Clubs,
And the Queen of Hearts.

I knew I had to,
Sooner than later,
Choose just one card,
To place above all other.

So I picked the Queen of Clubs,
Not to throw her.
She was still my Queen,
Alongside my Kings she'd stay.

What happened next,
I really dont know.
She fell from my fingers,
But never hit the floor.

The Queen was scorned,
In her fury she cried.
To stop her from falling,
I desperately tried.

But the damage was done,
She crashed onto the house.
I watched in horror,
As my cards were tossed.

Seven years of hardwork,
Were lost before my eyes.
And there was nothing I could do,
To salvage my pride...

The cards were strewn,
All across the floor.
Would they come back to me now,
Could I build my house once more?

No, most of them said,
Never, never again,
Upon your trust,
Shall we depend.

A few years ago,
I wanted to make,
A lofty card house,
Which would never, never....break.

(This poem is open to interpretation. If needed, I'll reveal the meaning of the poem within a few days. However, it's best if you could tell me your idea of the poem. And yes, please do leave your comments. Rate the poem as well. Thanks!)

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  1. WOW..awesome poem man...i told you u should do more of this!
    wat i could understand of the poem is that we have dreams...we build on them for years...then we have to make a choice between two paths ..we choose one..and if it turns out wrong..the entire dream is shatterd...atleast thts wat i could interpret..
    amazing poem man..and ur rhyming..u just didnt try to rhyme for the the sake of rhyming..it made perfect sense! hats off man..

  2. There are two kinds of writers: those that make you think, and those that make you wonder.

    U belong to both the Category!!

    Amazing....Keep up the good work!!

  3. Here's my interpretation. I don't take much time to think, but I jump to conclusions.

    This card house you built over years represents your friendship. It took you years to build it. When it comes to friendship, a dilemma we all come under(especially during the irrational period of teenage) is to decide which friend is most special to us. And when you don't do that carefully, you could break someone's heart. And this could ruin your entire friendship and many would turn against you(the entire house would crumple down). After this, regaining their trust will be very difficult. And yet, there is a longing to rebuild that house(friendship) once again, despite the hesitation.

  4. Wow, you'r so clever and have so many clever frds too! I liked "Zardy's" interpretation...i think its true. When you try to pick favorites among friends, you might end up breaking someone's heart, and when you break it, all the years of fun, happiness and sharing seems to go to naught. beautiful post...made me think!

  5. That was a clever poem! It is really nice! My interpretation is that it reflects alot on your life....you reveal the meaning! But what I leanrt from the end of teh poem that you can build a card house once again....only thing is taht dont make teh mistake you made before....dont take all teh cards-they wil ultimately stumble down...take a few...just enough to make a card house so that you wont have to see it fall again!....if u got what i mean!

  6. Its a beautiful poem, all the very best for your novel, I am sure you'd do a great job (Inshallah)All the very best to you!

  7. its better than the rough write.
    Its deep , better than expected and yes it makes you stop and think.
    well,thats the point isn't it.

  8. I'll be honest here. the poem was deep. and meaningful.


    the language was all so kiddish that it seemed as if it had been written by a child. grow up dude. u don hafta force your poems to rhyme. sometimes it jus goes well even without rhyming

    as per the meaning i interpret it as how any step in our life, if not taken from our heart can spoil it. also it's about the foundation. plus as one of your friends pointed out, it's also about the choices. one wrong choice can undo it all.

    exceptionally good meaning. i loved the depth of your the poem but not the language.

  9. dude.....an awesum poem.......man 2 b frank, i started havin a deep interest 2 poems after readin many of ur poems....mayb a few of dem! ;)

    the only interpretation i can think of after readin is tht, its a complete reflection of ur life....beautifully written n i hope more n more ppl understand it......

    juz rememba 1 thin dude......ppl commit mistakes, 'cus v humans r meant 2 do so.... only a few learn out of it, n the rest juz get heart broken n feel guilty....

    ur 1 of the perfect example 4 the 1st type of ppl....
    juz wait 4 the best, n it will soon turn out 2 b more than u xpected!....

    keep rockin bro...... n keep writin such poems!.....HATS OFF 2 U!

  10. dude u shud really write more poems ....its awesome

    The house of cards is like ur life..u built it slowly by taking in a lot of ppl...bt u gave undue importance to sum of them hum u thot were very hifi person...n u gave no importance to sum ppl hum u thot r cheapos..bt as you kept on going lyk dat... had to choose the most important out of the important ppls,which one of them didnt lyk..n they spoiled everything n ruined everything arnd u..means spoiled most of ur life's fun n frnds circle...bt they refused to cum bak to u even though u wanted another chance...bt u r trying to make ur circle agn n enjoy ur life and have everlasting friendship..

    hope its correct..bt plz giv the real meaning now!!!!
    i am curious to kno!!!

  11. @Rejin - Thanks dude. Writing poems is really tough, that's why I prefer the normal posts. As for the meaning, right on...almost.

    @Anonymous - Thanks....still, try not to stay Anonymous k?

    @Zardy - Man, you're interpretation is excatly what I had in mind. Actually, it's better than what I could've expressed!

    @Lakshmi - Thanks! Yup, some really clever friends I have!

    @Swati - Correct! And thanks for the advice...

    @A New Beginning - Thanks! Hope you'll be reading regularly.

    @Anonymous - It's quite pointless staying Anonymous since I know who you are. Still, thanks.

    @Aersh - Hey, firstly, a big thank you for the frank opinion. I really appreciate that. And yah, the language isnt literary. Actually, I dont want it to be. And not that I can make it that way too...still, I kinda stick to metaphorical poems with simple language. And the rhyming, I hope it didnt sound fake. I did try to make it rhyme...but not just for the sake of it.

    @Naseef - Thanks buddy, for the comment and your encouragement. Really hope you are right on this one...

    @Rocky - No, you're a bit way off on the interpretation. Zardy's the perfect one...and yes, I'll try to write more...but not anytime soon...

    @All - Thanks for the interpretation guys. And yes, it does take so much time to reply to comments. Better be worth it!

  12. well....well done again...as all said....i feel it reflects ur lyf.....but a small advice....or take it as a segeestion ....well...maybe the cards say they dnt want to cum bak.....but deep inside they really want to....keep it up....nd keep writin

  13. a god suggestion if u can take it....next tym wen u put a card in the top position..make sure it stays ther...evn if u want 2 shift its position a little down, u gotta do it slowlly, to avoid its collapse...take tym n patience...dont hurt the card n then try to save it...

  14. nice poem btw...learn frm mistakes made!

  15. wonderful muthu!
    These top cards reflect our priorities ...we just have to handle them carefully!

  16. Wow... I am amazed ... Good work!

  17. You have done a great job. Its very beautiful poem. Best of luck for you novel. Good job keep it up.