What's with my sudden inspiration? Well, the truth is, on November 27th, we (as in me and 2,499 other people) are going to set a Guiness World Record. How? By each one of us running 100 metres around a 400 metre running track.
I know. Breathtaking right? I mean....that's like....what the hell, how on earth can that be a world record?! Look at it this way. Supposing we do set this record (after all the hardwork and dedication and endurance of human spirit blah blah blah), what happens then?
I'll tell you. In some remote corner of the world, perhaps in a village in Sarajevo, or a town in Mogadishu, approximately 2400 people will be clamouring, (perhaps for food aid, or distribution of clothes or something...), when all of a sudden, one bright fellow will realise:
- The biggest number of rattlesnakes in one's mouth
- The most number of people inside a Mini-Cooper (21, if you're trying to break it...)
- The hairiest family (I know, makes you wish you hadnt waxed right?)
- The most number of feet sniffed ("In a 15-year career, Madeline Albrecht sniffed 5,600 feet while working for footcare experts Dr Scholl in the USA" - Good thing he never sniffed my leg!)
- The most watches eaten ("Kim Seung Do from Seoul, South Korea, ate five in 1hr 34mins in 1998" - That must be one punctual chap!)